heart melt

I was doing my work when 2 students from 1 INI (remember the story I told you in a status quite some time ago. the uncontrollable class I've ever entered) came.

"cikgu, nak salam!"

I was puzzled by the question. "kenapa nak salam?"

"nak salam siap-siap, sebab lepas ni kite maybe dah tak jumpe lagi dah."

"sebab ape?"

"ye la kan cikgu kan selalu masuk kelas kitorang relief waktu ustazah M. Ni dia dah kerja balik dah. Nanti takde la cikgu masuk jaga kelas kitorang lagi."

They make my heart melts.

when it reaches the limit

"So how do you feel about yesterday?"

"We feel guilty, miss"

"Why do you feel guilty?"

"Because we were playing when you were teaching" "we don't listen to you" blah,blah,blah

I stopped in the middle of the lesson yesterday because some of the boys were busy chatting rather than focusing on checking the answers for their recent exam paper. Yet they were busy asking me to give them more marks for their English paper.

Some of them even did other stuff. other subjects. they don't even seemed to bother me at the front.

I switched to BM and began 'berleter-ing' them. What's more upsetting was only 3 out of 34 sent their homework I gave them last week! Then I left the class without saying anything (anyway it's only 2 minutes just before the class ends).

This afternoon, a girl from that class came to me (my class with them was about to start in 5 minutes time) and asked me.

"miss are you still sulking with us? Will you come to class today?"

"..." "how was the class after I left?"

"everybody was shocked when you left. There was silence after that. Miss please teach us today, we're very sorry"

Teachers, all your words and acts will influence the students. We no longer live in a society where everything needs to be the military-way: all the shouting and punishing. Students can understand if we put it in a way that they would ponder themselves. We make them feel and think, rather than simply punish them without reasoning. 

What I did the other day was involuntary, but somehow the effect was positive. But that doesn't mean harsh actions should not be used at all. All needs to be used in the most appropriate time and place. 

p/s: this was copied from my facebook status few days ago. 

sedarlah wahai diri

Allah turunkan musibah

supaya kita tahu

yang Dia rindukan rintihan kita

kadang kala

Allah bayar 'cash'

untuk kita tersentak

dan sedar kesilapan kita

manusia

sering kalah dengan nafsu sendiri

sering alpa tujuan hidup dicipta

sering leka dengan nikmat duniawi

kuatkan iltizam untuk berubah

biar tersungkur beribu kali

jangan mengalah dan bangkit semula

kerana itu adalah mujahadah

itu petanda azam yang kuat

untuk menjadi lebih baik

biar diiringi niat keranaNya

goyah

kadang-kadang selalu rasa

sebenarnya kita mudah goyah

diuji sikit, terus goyang

dapat musibah sikit, 

terus melenting

sampai kadang-kadang tu

kita tak sedar

kita terlupa

qada' dan qadar itu wujud

semua dah tertulis di Luh Mahfuz

cara kita terima

cara kita respon

itu yang perlu diperbetul

Allah dah ajar

kalau dalam kesukaran

bersabarlah dan solat

kembali pada Dia

dan Dia akan 'settle'kan yang lain

tapi

berapa ramai yang ikut?

berapa ramai yang kembali bila diuji?

berapa ramai yang makin ingat Tuhan?

After Hardship Comes Ease

We often heard this saying, especially in the 94th surah in the Quran, where a verse goes 'for indeed, with hardship [will be] ease', with the next verse saying, 'indeed, with hardship [will be] ease'. 

I think throughout my formative practicum phase so far, there was one incident that lead to this tiny part of improvement in me. 

**********

It was a relief class with 1 INI (shortform for the class name, Inisiatif). I never been to the class before, but quite often I heard teachers keep on mentioning them. Since the relief class was during the last two periods on a Friday late afternoon, so I guess you can imagine how it was. 

In general, the class was loud. Boys and girls seemed to be competing for the loudest voice award. Many times I had to shush and remind them to keep their voices low. I did not plan to do anything with them since some of the boys requested to do their Maths homework. But..... the rest were much more on chitchatting and goofing around. 

I stood in the middle of the class with a stern face, arms folded. I looked at every face in the classroom, but they seemed not to bother analysing my body language and happily making the class even more uncontrollable. I shouted at the top of my lungs. Some of them stopped talking but some others were still ignoring me. I yelled once again, this time I could feel a sensation in my throat and I could I hear my voice turned quite coarse. That was the first time I think I shouted that loud. Once everybody had their attention on me, I scolded them and asked them to get back to their seat and sit silently. Only lasted two minutes, literally. 

On the other hand, I managed to catch a few boys who went wandering around the class corridor during my relief period. They sneaked out without my permission (in which obviously I will disapprove even if they asked to get permission to wander). I gathered all of them at the back of the class. This time, I did not shout or scold them, but I asked them why they did it and let them ponder what kind of consequences they might get if anything happened to them while they were strolling. This kept them in till the end of the period. 

**********

Sometimes, you cannot beat a shout with a shout, because you will lose. Although they will obey you, deep down students will lose respect to teachers who always shout as it shows poor classroom management; the inability of teachers to take control of the class.

Oh yes, regarding to the second part of the saying, I have just had my second observation with my Cooperating Teacher recently. She commented that I have improved slightly on my voice projection, in which I think may be the result of the incident happened with 1 INI. 

Although this may seem just a small matter for some, it is a big step for me. Now I truly believe that in whatever difficulties we face in life, there will be some sort of rainbows or lights at the end of the tunnel. He will never place us in a situation we cannot handle. 

melangkah lebih laju

Tibanya kita dimedan juang
mulakan langkah penuh yakin
dan melangkah dengan lebih laju

kini bukan masa mengeluh
mengaduh sakit tersadung jatuh
tapi kini masa mulakan pecutan
kerana umat perlukan penyelamat

sudahkan lama kita bertatih
kini masa tunjukkan aksi
bukan masanya menuding jari
tanpa kita, siapakah penggerak umat

Ayuh pemuda
gunakan masa mudamu
jangan disia tak menentu

usah berhenti menuntut ilmu

jangan disangka ilmumu tinggi melangit
kerana ilmuNya takkan pernah habis diteroka

jangan engkau riak dengan kefaqihan yang dinikmati
kerana bila-bila masa Dia boleh menariknya kembali

jangan pernah puas mencari redhaNya
kerana segalanya takkan pernah cukup

tuntutlah ilmu hingga ke liang lahad
kerana dengan ilmu kita selamat
dengan ilmu kita mampu berlindung
dari fitnah dajjal dan seantaranya

amalkannya dengan penuh yakin
ajarkanlah kepada yang lain
kerana dengan amalan itulah
mungkin menjadi asbab untuk ke syurgaNya