Curiosity killed the cat

Never thought that it will be that close.
All those sadness, stress that I had throughout this year were actually building up to a more serious condition.
Can't imagine how the rest of my teaching life would be. Better? Worse? Wallahua'lam
After just 4 years, here I am.
It's not something you can stop thinking and then magic happens and you're healed. Although it's not that serious yet, but preventions still need to be taken from making it worsen.
Quite difficult for a phlegmatic person like me to open up to people.
It's not gonna be easy.
But perhaps I'll try.
Insya'allah
Pray for me too. 

Down the drain

Depressed?
I'm not sure if that's the correct term to use.
Upset?
Perhaps yes.

Incidence after incidence happened throughout this year.
A lot of them involving emotional conflicts.
More towards negative feelings.
Sad. Rejected. Disheartened.
I don't know if I'm too sensitive or too fragile or even caring for too much till it hurts me, my feelings .

There are times when I failed from stop thinking about it. It distracts me. It affects me a little bit too much.

Is it wrong to love them?

but to them, it's just a burden they can't really tell in front of me.

Just because I'm someone they *should* respect

Things would be easier if you just tell the truth. No need to give me your fake smiles. No need to imitate if you hate it.

Just be honest. Please.