Friday, February 19, 2016

fabi-ayyi ala-i rabbikuma tukaththiban

Kita mudahkan urusan orang lain, 
Allah permudahkan urusan kita 
dalam kita tak terjangka.

Alhamdulilllah

Alhamdulillah

Thumma Alhamdulillah

rancangan benchmarking yang ter'postpone' dari tahun lepas
mulanya sesak, segala urusan macam susah nak capai
sampai satu tahap rasa nak 'give up'
rasa taknak letak harapan tinggi untuk pergi.
tup tup, satu hari, ada sahabat perlu bantuan
kita hulur seadanya
lepas beberapa hari
segalanya tampak positif

seusai halaqah tadi
dikala program lain terpaksa dibatalkan
program benchmarking diteruskan
tanpa sebarang halangan


fabi-ayyi ala-i rabbikuma tukaththiban





Monday, January 25, 2016

Beza

" Boleh saya tahu apa pekerjaan cik?"
Salah seorang AJK program mendapatkan maklumat peserta yang sudah hadir.

"Guru. Saya mengajar di sekolah menengah"

"Oh begitu. Dihantar oleh sekolah ke?"

"Tak. Saya memang nak join program ni. Kawan saya yang suggest"

"Wah bagusnya! Tak ramai cikgu-cikgu yang suka pergi program macam ni. Cik ni mesti bukan jenis cikgu yang biasa-biasa. Sanggup korban cuti"


Cikgu yang bukan biasa-biasa.


Muallim vs Murabbi.


Mengajar vs Mendidik.


Adalah berbeza guru yang mengajar kerana gaji dan mengajar kerana keinginan membentuk jati diri pelajar.

Adalah berbeza guru yang hanya mahu habiskan silibus dan tak peduli kebajikan pelajar berbanding guru yang melihat kondisi persekitaran pelajar disamping mengambil kira content yang hendak disampaikan.

Adalah berbeza guru yang ketika belajarnya hanya belajar untuk pass exam dengan guru yang masa belajarnya dihabiskan mencari pengalaman bermasyarakat.

Dan apa bezanya guru lulusan luar negara kalau tiada apa bezanya dengan lulusan tempatan.

Kalau sama saja, berbaloikah ratusan ribu ringgit yang sudah di'invest' pada guru itu selama bertahun-tahun lamanya?



p/s: terkesan dengan hasil nukilan seorang sahabat di UK/Eire. Boleh baca di sini


Thursday, January 21, 2016

you're late.

Repeated. April 27, 2015.
Another cycle of burst,
a depressing emotion.

After a year of teaching
(exactly a year and a day)
it is something that,
I could not control yet.

Involuntarily,
in which in the next step,
I'll be in tears of regret.

Angry,
then sit.
that's what I did
couldn't even look at them

so just let it cool on its own.



Sunday, January 17, 2016

new minds

I appreciate it when you acknowledged my nature
it's a sense of lifting me up to improve myself
despite all the weaknesses that I have
I also have my little strengths.
and you know it, too.

Our littlest members of the family are coming into class tomorrow
new challenges since this batch has their own 'set of mind'

another batch to be my lab rats, perhaps
with new methods, new sets of props
new styles of teaching

will try my best to apply what I've just learned.


by a new plf. 

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

fasa dalam tarbiah

Realitinya, dalam tarbiah seakan ada banyak fasa-fasanya. 

Ada fasa ketika baru berkenalan, baru tahu apa itu tarbiah. 
Satu fasa yang macam, "oh, baruuuuu aku tau benda ni aku kena buat!" 

Ada fasa bila kita tengah semangat nak belajar semua benda yang berkaitan dakwah dan tarbiah. Sanggup habis tenaga dan duit ke program-program tanpa kenal erti lelah. 

Ada fasa bila kita pulun habis-habisan nak tarbiahkan semua orang.
Buat program sana sini, urus usrah adik-adik dan macam-macam lagi

Ada fasa kita terjatuh futur, buat-buat futur ataupun tak perasan pun sebenarnya tengah futur (nauzubillah). Kesibukan kerja (macam sekarang ni), sampai usrah pun tak sempat nak pergi, buat-buat lupa program islamik sampai betul-betul tak pergi langsung, dan macam-macam alasan lagi. 

Dan mungkin, ada juga satu fasa tu, fasa yang mana kita sedang futur, tapi jauh di dalam hati, kita mahu bangkit semula. Pada awalnya kita mahu lari dari tarbiah, tapi sekeliling kita menarik kita untuk kembali ditarbiah. Permasalahan disekeliling kita, membuatkan kita rindu untuk mencari 'kita' yang mula-mula ditarbiah dulu. Dan kita rindu masa-masa berada dalam lingkungan tarbiah itu. 

Roda, akan sentiasa berpusing, mungkin seperti fasa-fasa ini juga.

Moga dapat kembali ke fasa awal-awal tu. 

Sunday, January 3, 2016

A new school term

So I was helping out a colleague for school registration today. A few parents came to me to settle their children's school fees and everything just before the person in charge took over. There was a parent who looked very hesitant to pay the fees. He asked about what were the things that he could pay after some time and what needed to be paid immediately. Felt sorry for him and I'm sure I'm not the only one witnessing this kind of incident. We are all going to experience more of this financial crisis as the time goes. Get ready for it, mentally and financially.
Guess I need to plan my financial budget, with a tighter spending, perhaps.

On the other side, I'm quite eager (and a little bit scared) to start the term with all the new responsibilities. yeay I'm no longer a class teacher, but.....  (you may have a guess here). Afraid of getting fatigue and burn-outs. Fingers crossed. 

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Novice.

I know, being a novice teacher, everything (literally almost every single dirty job) is going to be dumped in front of us. Lets say if any senior teachers refuse to do that, they'll pass it to us with the excuses like...

"you're still young, full of energy and excitement"
"you don't have much commitments as I do"
" this is how we learnt during our days, now it's your turn"
"go and gain as many experience, that way you'll learn"

I don't blatantly saying that we feel burdened to be the 'dustbins' for them, but sometimes there are things that need to be considered as well. If you are loading us with the workloads, please guide us how to do those things. Not simply give us everything and leave us hanging. Yes, we want to learn, but please direct us. Yes, we'll definitely make mistakes, but please teach us so we can do better next time. Some teachers really like to compare with their glorious days as if they never commit mistakes like the ones we the newly teachers have done. As if we were totally losers in terms of doing things the way they want it to be. Some novice teachers are also being condemned for not being nice towards the senior teachers. Perhaps, some of these novice teachers don't even realise that what they're doing is wrong or unacceptable, so why don't just meet them in person and tell them. Don't talk behind our backs and spread gossips around the school without us knowing any single thing about it.

Commitments.
Please, just because we're young, we don't have any commitments like other people. Yes, we may be still single and not having a family at the moment, but that doesn't mean we literally don't have other commitments. We still have our siblings, our parents, our relatives to visit and be taken care of. That is our commitment. All work and no fun makes Jack a dull boy. We also need our own privacy time from school work. But since almost every weekend is taken as we had to bring these kids here and there for several reasons, we have just becoming like robots.  Lifeless. Emotionless. Restless.

I am not complaining all these while but being teachers is ridiculously stressful these days. Be fair to us. Of course we want to learn to be a great teacher like other teachers, but let us explore. Guide us so we won't do it terribly. Support us if we want to try new things to improve our students. So that we love our job as teachers.