Overwhelmed

 It hurts

when you put so much expectations

but didn't get the same energy

as I thought as

 it  should be

It's draining

when you hope too much

that they'd have the same hope as you do

but I guess it's not even near, to you

It just didn't reciprocate 

when only one side is striving

while the other is falling, or not moving

I know it's my fault

for being too attached

when perhaps,

you are not, to me

I know it's my mistake

for letting it to happen

that I'd lose control

over my own feelings. 

I'm sorry

for being, me. 

I'm still learning

to be better, me.

What If I Love You So Much Over?

 I love you more than just a friend, 

I love you more than just a sister,

I wish I could love you like a lover,

but I know it's just too much over. 

I wish I could love you more than that,

but it can only be an ungranted wish,

it's prohibited and will never come true. 

I don't know how to describe that feeling though, but truly,

I do love you so much over. 

But from what I know, 

I just want to be your guardian, your protector, your saviour.

From harm, from bad decisions, from being with the wrong person. 

But I know I just couldn't go beyond that limit, 

just because I love you too much over. 

Like the love from a mother to her daughter, 

like the love from a sister to her younger sibs,

Know no one would ever prayed for badness, only goodness. 

Nothing but the best for the one, truly beloved. 

A Blessing in Disguise, Definitely.

25/1/2020 - 25/5/2020

Alhamdulillah,

for the experience.

I believe,

He is preparing me for the better,

Insya'allah.

A Blessed Pause

When the world is hit by the C-virus
All seem to collapse
All seem to stop functioning as they do before

Fret not
It gives us time to mend distant relationships
It gives us chance to spend more time with our family
It gives us opportunity to think twice of yet-to-be-made decisions.

Uncertainty
Nobody knows what's gonna happen next
Nobody knows where this will lead us to
Could it be a perfect match afterwards?
Or one step closure to heartbreaks after

A postponed engagement
Before 2 hearts are tied
Before two individuals become a pair
Everything is paused
It gives time to think again

And suddenly,
I'm free again.

Relieved.

A blessing in disguise, indeed.

Alhamdulillah